It's like. A constant battle within myself.
Between the angel Aleena & the evil one.
I get mad with myself MOST of the time. I have this sort of feeling that, I'm actually a parasite living in a host. (You may watch THE HOST in order to understand this). It feels like two souls living in one body. I kind of want to scream the hell out of me because my body is reacting against my will. It's extremely tiring to feel this way everyday.
I feel like I'm all locked up inside, shutted out from the world & some other evil soul has been taking over my body, doing things that I don't wanna do. I have been wanting to speak out but the silence is too loud. Too bad, I'm still chained inside my own body.
I'm still struggling to win myself back. But, somehow, it's better if I can teach my parasite to act accordingly to my will, my way & persuade her to be good instead.
It's a hard task but I'm sure sooner or later, I'll get there eventually.
I don't know if you can understand this theory or not. And of course heck no I'm not Melanie. Hahahha. But yeah, don't let the parasites to conquer you!